LAME FUCKING CARTOONS NAMED AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE.
If any of you readers out there are
Canadian, and insomniacs like me, I'm sure you've watched the late night lineup
on Teletoon, or at least glanced at it. If you have, then I'm sure you've
noticed the terrible fucking cartoons they play. Teletoon has been pissing me
off royally lately. I remember years back they used to play cool shit, like
Duckman, and Ren and Stimpy, and that short called "Lolita Lolita" where the hot
chick got naked all the time. Now what do we have? Fucking Aqua Teen Hunger
Force.
I fucking hate ATHF with a passion. The Characters are all talking fast food
products, stuff you'd expect to see littered across a highway. Its like the
producer was tripping on acid and the smell of his finger after he scratched his
ringhole, and then saw a pile of garbage and started playing with it, and then
thought "These would make awesome characters for a cartoon!" He then probably
went home and masturbated to some Anime, or molested his cat.
I know 'Randomness' is cool, but for fucks sakes, this is just pointless. I have
no idea how this stupid show manages to stay on the air. Not one of the jokes or
gags used is funny, even slightly. Its so loaded with Adult Swim 'in-jokes' and
obscure references that only the most obsessive of geeks could even get them.
Every single fan of this show I've ever met has been the same type, the 'random
crazy' geek-people.
Usually this person is a fat chick, who tries to come off as 'random' and/or
'crazy', by yelling shit like "MONKEYS!" at random moments to get attention. The
kind of person you'd be embarassed to take out to public. The kind that try so
hard to be 'quirky' and 'eccentric' and 'funny' but just come off sounding
schitzophrenic. Everyone knows someone like this. These basement dwelling sock-sniffers
are the sole reason ATHF is on the air, and I fucking hate them. ATHF blows and
by encouraging it Teletoon is slowly ruining the art form known as cartoons. I
can't emphasize this point enough, there is NO REASON ATHF should be on the air.
It's a mental abortion of an idea right from concept to art to finished product.
If you like this show, chances are you're either inbred or retarded.
ATHF Isn't the only fucking atrocity in this category. A new one is 12 OZ Mouse,
which looks like a fucking toddler drew it. I am not exaggerating when I say
this might be the worst drawn cartoon in history, like the animators didn't even
try. Not only is it shittily drawn, it has some of the most stupid and random
characters in history, including a giant ugly green rat with stick figure arms
and legs and a crudly drawn pair of circles for a head and body, a square with
legs, and a shark that drags itself around on its flippers. Believe me, its even
shittier than it sounds. Don't watch it to prove me right. As well as the
animation being several levels below 'terrible,' it's even less funny than ATHF,
making it possibly the most worthless thing on TV. I don't even think those
obsessive geeks I mentioned earlier could find it funny. If a cartoon has shitty
stick-figure like drawings, you'd expect them to compensate with some killer
humor, but no, this whole project is shit. I can't stress how shitty it is. If I
ever meet a fan of this show, I'll be sure to knife them in the crotch a few
times, not so much to keep them from reproducing (because anyone who likes this
show couldn't possibly get laid to begin with), but just to release some of my
exquisite rage.
Both these cartoons are atrocities on the same level as the holocaust, both ugly
partners in a gay marriage of SUCKITUDE. There's more I could rip apart, but
honestly, I don't fucking want to. I try my best to ignore them until something
better comes on, like Family Guy (Youd think they could at least buy some new
episodes, the cheap cocks) or Sons of Butcher (which they're cancelling to make
room for more HORSESHIT), or Tripping the Rift (which is just funny enough to
prevent me from boycotting this station.)
Fuck Teletoon and FUCK ATHF FANS.
ATHF BLOWS.